Beginnings.......

Dear Friends and family,
Well I finally did it! I started a blog page. With so many things happening day by day, especially out in the field as a Hospice nurse, I just needed a place to unload. I cannot even begin to tell you of all of the things I am learning along the way on this journey. Not only do I learn new things from my patients, but I learn from my past memories as well! Be fore-warned that some of the stories could make you cry, but it usually is a good kind of cry. But let's start at the beginning. The blog page title of Two Hands Lifted. It is new to me to Love the Lord so much that you can't help yourself but to lift up your hands in praise and worship! It is a feeling that comes from deep inside. As you grow to know him from the inside, you grow to want to show it on the outside. Then came along a song by Jars of Clay interestingly enough titled 'Two Hands'. This says it all from the song...." I use one hand to pull you closer and the other hand to push you away. If I had two hands doing the same thing.....lifted high" Well, if you are like me and mimicked the hand motions with the words, the end result is both hands are lifted up and in that position you can't help but worship!
But even further back then just the title comes the reason for becoming a Hospice Nurse in the first place. Close to 2 yrs ago, my mother passed away while on Hospice. My father had passed away 13 yrs earlier on Hospice. When my dad passed away I was still working in the Intensive Care Unit. Who knew that all of those years as a died hard ICU nurse was grooming me to become what I am today? Don't take me wrong, my dad's death hit hard and threw my world into chaos, but there is something different about losing your mom. There is really no other way to explain it other than it's your mom. So if most of my blogs are gonna be about things Hospice patients have/are teaching me, it only makes sense to start with what my mom's death taught me.
She lay there with gray hair of spun silk and porcelain skin so smooth that it deceived all who looked at her of her true age. In fact looking at her it was not even apparent that she was sick and dying. But as I watched the gray rain coming down, I knew with a daughter's heart that she would die that day. As she took her last breath she looked more beautiful then I ever remembered and the glow around her made it hard to turn away. Maybe it was a brush of an Angel's wing or even a reflection of God's own hand on her brow that made her shimmer as her spirit floated away to Heaven. As painful as losing her was, it was also comforting to see a peaceful death. ( Dad's was very peaceful as well and I don't want to take away from the pain of losing him)
Lesson: Death comes. But it can be beautiful. No other words come to my mind right now to describe it. Especially for a believer in God as she was. Other then the ones that die instantly(which in itself can be a blessing as well), those that have an illness and know they are dying can have hope for a pain/anxiety free passing. Each person has something different to offer and I can't wait to share the many stories that the dying has taught me! Join me for an amazing journey of personal and spiritual growth as we learn together life's lessons.